And so, two years would pass.
In that span, my heart continued to listen to my head and
remained quiet. On top of that, I couldn't work up the nerve
to talk to her. Outside of professional settings, I have
always been shy.
People love to ask what you look for in a significant other.
Some people even go as far as to make lists of "requirements."
I have been guilty of this in the past as well. Post college,
I thought it was witty to answer this question by stating
I had only two requirements:
1. That I love the girl.
2. That the girl love me back.
I reasoned that this was in fact much rarer than it seemed.
And simultaneously so much more simple.
On some occasions, when asked about the attributes I wanted
in a girlfriend, I would boldly inform the questioner that
I wanted to meet someone like her.
I meant it, but no one took me seriously. And why would
they?
Around her, I could barely say a word. As a result, I knew
she probably was not aware of my existence.
I must admit that I continued to ignore the butterflies
in my stomach. What could I have done anyway? I followed
my head and dated here and there, but nothing really stuck.
I wasn't all that into the girls I was seeing or being set
up with. Each experience left me unsatisfied. I continued
to bury myself in my work and played on weekends when my
duties did not require travel abroad.
Every so often, I would remember her. I felt as if I was
gazing at a star in the sky that I would never be able to
reach. I knew I would not be satisfied, so I continued to
berate my heart into silent obedience.
At some point, I discovered she got out of her relationship.
I also heard of a good number of suitors. My feeble expressions
of interest left me miles away from even being a blip on
her radar.
She began to attend a church small group I was a part of.
I was secretly thrilled. Up until that point I had spotty
attendance to the weekly meetings. For perhaps all the wrong
reasons, I tried to attend as many of the sessions as I
could.
In the fall of 2004, one particular business trip to monitor
humanitarian aid left me completely drained. Upon my return,
I shared my mental and physical exhaustion with the members
of the small group. Among them, she intently listened.
Afterwards, she came up to me and introduced herself.
'Hi Sam. I don't know if you remember me. I'm...'
[part 3]
About Silas Lee
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